Age: 52
Job: Writer
Neighborhood: Ulster County (but formerly Park Slope, Lower East Side, Upper West Side)
Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Bartleby the Scrivener.
What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in New York?
Salt-and-pepper shrimp at a place on the Bowery below Canal, the name of which I no longer recall.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Put together sentences.
Where do you get your coffee?
The supermarket.
What’s the last thing you saw on Broadway?
A group of counterfeit-label-goods salesmen running from the police.
Do you give money to panhandlers?
Yes.
What’s your drink?
Bourbon at parties, wine at dinner. Otherwise seltzer, to which I’m addicted.
How often do you prepare your own meals?
Surprisingly often.
What’s your favorite medication?
Sleep.
What’s hanging above your sofa?
The head of Alfredo Garcia.
How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
$20.
When’s bedtime?
1:30 a.m. Usually.
Brunch: pro or con?
On the verge of trademarking “linner.”
What’s your thread count?
Excuse me?
What do you hate most about living in New York?
A toss-up between expense and congestion.
What’s your brand of jeans?
Sears, Roebuck, I think.
When was the last time you drove a car?
Five minutes ago.
Who should be the next president?
I’d prefer Eugene Debs or George McGovern, but I’d settle for Al Gore.
Times, Post, or Daily News?
[Sigh] Times.
Yankees or Mets?
Mets.
What makes someone a New Yorker?
Irritability.
