Now, everyone knows how we love the Olsen family, so it pains our heart to do this, but we really have to recommend that everybody go over to the PETA Website and play their Dress Up the Trollsens game. See, that’s the new nickname they have for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. You can go on their site and dress “Hairy Kate” and “Trashley,” who begin the game naked, in what we can only assume is the makeup they used during their auditions to be extras in I Am Legend. In their closet, you’ll see items like a “Choked Chinchilla Cap” and a “Mauled Mink Shaw” (the “Dead Doggie Shoulder Bag” and “Kitten-Trimmed Mittens,” we must say, are a stretch, even for PETA). The creepiest part isn’t the bloody clothing, nor is it the fact that both twins have the same naked body-warts that plague Mr. Burns on The Simpsons. It’s that their giant dead eyes follow your cursor as it moves around their bodies and does whatever it wants. They just dully regard you with a silent mix of sneering disdain and mild terror. For anyone who has ever had a fantasy about having sex with either of them, that should just about cure it. Because we’re no Lance Armstrong, but we suspect that in real life, that’s exactly how it goes.
Dress Up The Trollsens [Peta]