Paul-Money: That is how you do it. Ka-ching!
Daily Intel: Word.
Daily Intel: So what are you up to?
Paul-Money: Well, yesterday I bought almost 14.8 million shares of Cadbury.
Daily Intel: The candy company? I like those eggs they make at Easter, although they make the back of your throat burn in a weird way.
Daily Intel: How much did that cost you?
Paul-Money: Around $187 million. 759.59 pence a share
Daily Intel: Dude, why can’t you just say $7.59 pounds, or $12.20?
Paul-Money: I shun the dollar.
Daily Intel: Whatevs. But wait: Didn’t Kraft just make a bid for Cadbury for just 745 pence a share? Couldn’t you lose money if they accept something lower?!!?
Paul-Money: They won’t. Cadbury called bullshit. Kraft will up their offer.
Daily Intel: How do you know?!?!?!
Paul-Money: Well, the other night I got super-baked and read this post on highDEAS. We were totally out of Halloween candy and I was so pissed
Paul-Money: And then I had a revelation.
Paul-Money: I was like, Kraft needs Cadbury. Chocolate is, like, totally essential.
Daily Intel: Wait. You read highDEAS for stock tips?
Paul-Money: DUH OF COURSE. Everyone does.
Daily Intel: Dude you should totally invest in Cool Whip. That stuff will be huge when people recognize “whipped” as a new state of matter.