The feds arrested proctologist Boris Sachakov at his Brighton Beach condo yesterday on charges of scheming $3.5 million from Medicare in false claims. What tipped them off? $60,020 in claims for 85 hemorrhoidectomies for one patient in twenty months. Sachakov, the only practitioner at his Brooklyn office, also claimed to have performed 6,593 hemorrhoidectomies in less than a year, and often billed for more than 24 hours a day. Maybe he felt the money was his reward for hanging out with assholes all day. [NYDN]