Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Writer Whose Girlfriend Has the Sex Drive of a 13-Year-Old Boy: female, gay, 25, in a monogamous relationship, East Williamsburg.
DAY ONE
11 a.m.: At work, thinking about how GF and I haven’t been having as much sex lately as she has wanted. I’ve been telling her it’s a phase. She’s been worried.
7 p.m. Date night. I have promised hot sex after our date, so I put on cute underwear. She usually dates really femme girls who wear four-inch heels and have way bigger breasts than mine, so sometimes my efforts with lace panties feel silly, but fuck it.
7:45 p.m. GF and I go to see contemporary dance. Free tickets. She looks really hot tonight in a pressed button-down and her new black boots.
7:50 p.m. I need to go to the bathroom before show. She does too. One of the things that I find so unsexy/weird about dating a girl is standing in a bathroom line together and going to the bathroom together. Something about it embarrasses me/weirds me out. Especially because she is so boyish that sometimes people think she is a boy.
9 p.m. Mid-performance she slides her hand under my skirt. “Wanted to see if you were wearing garters,” she whispers. I’m not. Wish I was. She always asks for garters and I have only delivered like, twice.
9:30 p.m. I look over; she’s totally asleep during the performance. It’s pretty cute.
2 a.m.: After a concert and a bar we go home and I immediately take off all my clothes. We fall into a role-play without planning where I’m a girl she brought home. She goes down on me and then fucks me with her hand until I squirt all over her shirt. It’s drenched. (This would have horrified me before I met her, but I think it’s hot now.) I drop the role-play and scream her name as I orgasm. She then straps it on and I come again really quickly. And again. And again. Seriously. (This multiple-orgasm mania has never happened before her.) I pull the strap-on off her and go down on her.
2:45 a.m.: Lay towels on the bed. Only part I have yet to figure out. Wet bed is so unsexy to sleep on.
DAY TWO
8:30 a.m.: I’m up for work. Leave her asleep in bed. She texts me: “Do me a favor and remember what you were doing when you went down on me last night. And do it again.” Shit, hope I can remember. She goes out of town for the weekend. Glad I can focus on getting some work done.
Noon: Google naked pics of Paz de la Huerta. (Really into her after seeing Enter the Void.)
5 p.m. At café. Keep thinking about last night and not concentrating on the piece I am editing. Going to go home and masturbate and nap.
6 p.m. Get home and roommate and friend are having wine in the living room. They want me to hang out. Masturbation postponed.
Midnight: Get home from a show. GF is texting me from party at which they are playing truth or dare. She is drunk. She says she won’t do a dare. I tell her to do whatever she wants … Does she want to make out with someone? Hmm … Meanwhile I pull out the vibrator and decide to watch some porn. Find something that looks good. Internet stops. Really??!! I finish with vibrator and have mediocre orgasm.
DAY THREE
10 a.m. Wake up. I’m under three deadlines and have so much to do.
1 p.m. GF texts about how much fun she is having. Says she has stories to tell. I’m a little jealous.
4 p.m. Call from a girl who asked me to go to a book-release party tomorrow. I don’t know her well. She wants to have drinks before. She p.s.-ed an e-mail with “By the way you are gorgeous” but seems like the straightest girl ever. Is she hitting on me?
5 p.m. Voice-mail just arrives to my phone from 1:30 a.m. this morning from GF. iPhone is annoying. I listen. GF drunk-dialed me and is saying how she thinks I’m really hot. Makes me smile.
7:30 p.m. Get dressed for dinner. Make a special effort with matching black lace bra and panties, knowing she’ll be back later.
8 p.m. I have dinner with friends. GF is on her way back from cabin. I tell her to come meet me out. She arrives as I’m telling a story about a creepy dude who hit on me — a story she hates. I stop telling the story as she walks up, which seemed shady to her. She looks annoyed all through dinner.
10 p.m. Leave restaurant. I apologize for bringing up that story she hates. She says she felt dumb because I was whispering when she walked up and stopped telling the story so she didn’t know what I was talking about. I feel bad.
11:30 p.m. to 1 a.m.: Make out. She takes off my clothes. I can tell she is really sleepy from being up all night at the party because she keeps closing her eyes. I’m not so into it because I want to connect and I can’t ‘cause she’s sleepy. I say I’m going to use the vibrator and she pulls it out of my hand. She is being cute but I get angry, selfishly, because I just wanted to get off. She makes a comment about how I’d come quicker if I didn’t use the vibrator so often. I get angry and say forget it. A fight ensues. I get into a mood and pout/brood. She gets pissed at me for making such a big deal. I say some jerky things. And turn my back to her. She says she won’t lay on opposite sides of the bed and sleep. She just won’t. So she gets up and puts her clothes on. I watch her. I follow her to the elevator and ask her please to stay. She says it’s late and she’s tired. She stays. She sleeps with her back toward me.
DAY FOUR
8 a.m. Wake, write for two hours.
10 a.m. She wakes. She says she woke angry but has faith in us and one bad night isn’t the end of the world. I apologize for being a brat. I go down on her and she comes. I tell her to stay there and relax and I go get breakfast for us.
1 p.m. After realizing I am late on two deadlines I say something snappy and GF says why not cancel my meetings for the afternoon and stay home and catch up. I agree and do so.
4 p.m. We start making out on the couch. I feel happy and glad I got my work turned in. She picks me up and carries me into the bedroom. We start kissing and she looks at the spot on my breast where they put the needle in the other day when I got a breast exam. She talks to me in her best doctor voice about needing to examine me. I ask her if she will really doctor role-play with me. We laugh because I love acting/role-play and she indulges that for me, but I don’t think she is into it as much as I am. We have a hot role-play. (I orgasm quietly as I hear my roomie come home, which sucks.) After I do, she wants more. I feel like we could keep going, but we are hungry and she has to go to class. Amazing dreamy afternoon.
6 p.m. Working on next assignment. Smiling. Happy. Feel really lucky to be in a healthy, communicative relationship with good sex.
DAY FIVE
Noon: GF starts sexting me. “I’m going to come over late tonight and lick you and finger you gently until you come.” Though we have had quite a bit of sex lately I respond, “Yes please.”
11 p.m. I want to go to sleep. Maybe we haven’t had enough nights apart this week. I probably should have told her not to come over. I’m exhausted.
1 a.m. GF comes over after movie date with a friend. I’m half-asleep and definitely not in the mood. She climbs in bed and turns out the light and starts going down on me. Okay, maybe I can get in the mood. Then she does something with her fingers that she has never done before — and it feels amazing. I have a wonderful, full-body intense orgasm. And fall dead asleep.
DAY SIX
9 a.m. GF and I wake up and I know she wants to continue what we started last night. So she straps it on and fucks me quietly; roomie is asleep. I orgasm, then she takes the strap-on off and I go down on her until she does. All very quickly as we both have things to do.
4 p.m. Look for sexy cheerleader outfit, not for Halloween, but for the bedroom. Everywhere is out. How could this be? It’s Halloween weekend! Bummer — she does so much for me, and all she has asked for is this! Fail on the cheerleader outfit.
8 p.m. Put on stockings with seams in the back, heels, and a cute outfit. She picks me up looking very sexy. We have a lovely dinner at a place in Bushwick. The couple on one side of us is discussing their trainers and $300/month gym membership, the two guys on the other side are discussing their $14,000 speakers. So we start talking about kinky sex we are going to have. I’m a little tipsy and talking loud, but the people on either side of us don’t even notice! We giggle, and proceed to have a real conversation about dominance in sex and how I think there is balance between really hurting someone and playing and only hurting a little.
11 p.m. We walk home laughing. Get inside, apartment is dark, but it’s obvious my roomies are home. I pull her onto the couch and she pulls my stockings down. She pulls me into the bathroom. I tell her we should go in my room. We start making out and she pushes me against the wall and the shower curtain falls down with me. We are both laughing so hard; I’m a little worried about my roomies, who are asleep. She fixes the shower curtain while I am laughing. She tells me to be quiet and starts going at me again until I orgasm. We climb into bed, dry, take off our clothes and then I go down on her. Great date night.
DAY SEVEN
8 a.m. GF leaves for school. It’s one of those mornings where it’s tough to say good-bye.
9 a.m. I write for a few hours.
Noon: Meet my friend for lunch, come home, clean, and catch up.
3 p.m. GF comes over and we sit at our computers working. She is working on a paper for school. I keep bugging her and asking her questions.
5 p.m. We put our work aside and climb into bed with popcorn to watch a movie. She tries to make out. I’m not in the mood, and also, I tell her, we have been having sex quite a bit, so let’s chill. She jokes with me about wanting more blow jobs. I tell her she just has to remind me! I haven’t had a lot of strap-on blow-job experience, but am absolutely open to it, as long as it’s clean. She tries to grope me and I tell her I just want to watch a movie! Seriously, she has the sex drive of a 13-year-old boy and most of the time I cannot keep up. We watch a movie and laugh a lot.
8 p.m. Dinner at her friend’s house.
12:20 a.m.: Make it to a friend’s birthday party. My GF goes to the bathroom and two butch girls ask if I want a drink. GF comes back and I tell her not to leave me alone. Then birthday girl starts hitting on me. GF intervenes. We leave the party eventually and meet some friends at a bar.
2 a.m.: Dancing at a Williamsburg bar with some of my friends. I think they may be a little jealous I have such a hot, devoted girlfriend. They want to dance with her. I don’t mind at all. Run into a guy who asked me out like two years ago in Seattle. Say hello. She makes a point to go talk to him and have a bro moment. (Which translates as proving her masculinity and making sure he knows she is with me.)
3 a.m.: There is a photo booth set up at the bar, so we take pictures. Some guy asks to take a picture with her. He says she is a beautiful woman. I think this is hilarious and cute and tell her to take the picture with him. She does. We hop in a cab home and she drunkenly rambles about how mad she is that she took a picture with that guy, that guys are always sort of saying those things and that it is degrading and condescending. That they don’t get it. I hear her gender identity/butch rant and try to assure her that I understand her masculinity and appreciate it. We arrive home. I come in from brushing my teeth and she is dead asleep on my bed, shoes still on. I undress her and we both fall into a deep, drunken sleep.
Totals: Three acts of oral sex (receiving), four acts of oral sex (giving), six acts of manual stimulation (receiving), one act of manual stimulation (giving), two acts of strap-on sex, one act of masturbation with vibrator.
