So, the Yankees opened their season in the Bronx today — they lost, 8–2, to Boston — and the Internet took the opportunity to joke that their lineup looked like some sort of April Fools’ prank. (Seriously, have a look at that batting order.) But mockery of the Yankees isn’t limited to new media: Pictured here is the cover of this week’s New Yorker. From left to right: old and hasn’t pitched an injury-free season since 2009, old and currently injured, old and coming off a major injury, old and currently injured, old (but healthy!), and currently injured (but not too old!). Your 2013 Yankees, everybody.