It’s a mental list we all keep. The lies we tell ourselves about the things we need to do before we can go on to do the important stuff. Well, once I start going to bed at the same time each night, then I can do [insert other, larger goal you want to achieve that isn’t really related to the thing you need to start doing.] As soon as finish all the shows on Netflix I want to watch, then I’ll start writing my novel. Once I finish reading this blog post, then I can do my actual work today. That’s the spirit of this week’s best meme. Listing the hurdles and struggles keeping you from living your best life. But, but, buuuuuuut, once — if — you overcome them, then it’s over for the sorry bitches around you who still haven’t tackled their own lists.
To put it mathematically:
List of all the big and small things keeping your from getting off the couch + actually accomplishing said things = IT’S OVER FOR YOU BITCHES
The “it’s over for you bitches” meme isn’t new, but it is resurfacing this week. It was first spotted back in November of 2017. If you’re a reader of Babe.net, home of the “evidence for days” series that lays out why every female celebrity you love is ostensibly gay, you might remember reading about it back then. Turns out, not everyone has managed to tackle their to-do lists and come for the bitches in the months since then.
Once I limit my caffeine intake to one sensibly sized cup of coffee in the morning, and start going to the gym instead of hitting snooze, and stop blowing off my therapist, start shaving more than just the section of my ankles you can see when I wear cropped jeans, and stop turning my phone on airplane mode when I go to sleep at night because I’m too lazy to get up and go plug it in and don’t want the battery to die overnight, then it’s over for you bitches. Over, I say.
