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Recaps

  1. the greatest show of our time
    Gossip Girl Takes Us Through the First Two Stages of GriefOur weekly reality index.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    Gossip Girl Is Where We BelongIt’s Thanksgiving already! And there’s lots to be thankful for in our weekly ‘Gossip Girl’ recap.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Makes ChoicesOur weekly reality index.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    Gossip Girl Gets Its Muff StuffedOh jeez, where to begin? It’s our weekly episode recap!
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    Gossip Girl Leaves Us Writhing in Excruciating PleasureOur weekly recap of the Greatest Show of Our Time.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    The Secret Life of Gossip GirlOur weekly reality index of the only show we’ve ever liked before it became cool.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    The Final ‘Gossip Girl’ Reality TallyWe add up the reality index for this week’s episode, including your points.
    By Chris Rovzar
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    Gossip Girl Gains the Freshman FifteenFifteen POINTS, that is.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    Gossip Girl Allows Its Light to Shine‘Gossip Girl’ attacks the city at its very heart: Fashion Week. We tell you what was real and unreal.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    Gossip Girl Tosses a Nairtini in Our FacesAn epic recap of an epic episode of the Greatest Show of Our Time.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    Gossip Girl Is Royally Pimpin’Our recap of the second episode of the second season of the Greatest Show Ever.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    Gossip Girl Says ‘Chuck You’ to True LoveIt’s the return of our exhaustive, obsessive, and unattractively loving recaps of the Greatest Show of Our Time.
    By Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Ditches Us the Morning AfterWe tally up the points that made the season finale of the Greatest Show of Our Time real, unreal, or maybe just annoying.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Gives Us the High of Our So-Called LivesLet’s face it, this episode rocked. Our recap is within.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Blows Our MindsAnd that’s not all. You’ll have to see it — or read our recap — to believe it.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Blinds Us With Color, EvilIn which Michelle Trachtenberg is the Marcia Cross of the Greatest Show of Our Time, returning from a mysterious absence to ruin everything and everyone.
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    The ‘Gossip Girl’ Recaps Returneth!In which we calculate the reality index of the Greatest Show of Our Time.
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    In Which We Finally Say Those Three Little Words to ‘Gossip Girl’We’ve realized our relationship with Gossip Girl has followed a path not unlike Dan and Serena’s.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Takes Us Back to the FutureIt was kind of a refreshing change to get vodka in plastic cups and an impromptu party at the school pool.
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    A Very ‘Gossip Girl’ ChristmasOur mind-shatteringly detailed guide to what in this week’s episode of Gossip Girl could pass for real-life New York experience, what seemed kinda fake, and what really put the “Jesus Christ” back in our Christmas.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Says, ‘Granny, Get Your Gun!’Drunk with power (and Tanqueray), Grandma CeCe stole the shit out of this episode.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Gives Us the Thanksgiving We Always DeservedWho writes this show? Former members of the Children of God?
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Threatens All of Its Great Loves“I performed in a speakeasy and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass.”
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Exceeds Our Expectations … Again!Our Einsteinian comparison between the real, the unreal, and the crap that made us groan out loud to our gay friends in the living room.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Makes Us Color-blindOur highly calibrated point system of… um… points.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Gets Lost in New YorkIsn’t it weird when a show’s writers forget their own plotlines? Isn’t it weird we’re paying such close attention?
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Embraces Friendships, RealityAnd that’s what this recap is all about, right? Realism!
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    ‘Gossip Girl’: There Are Only Eight Colleges in AmericaOur vaguely researched, but mostly completely subjective, guide to what in this week’s Gossip Girl was as fake as Melania Trump’s face, and what could pass for real.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’ Goes Straight to the ‘O.C.’ PlaceIn case you forgot, on the second episode of Gossip Girl, otherwise known as Statutory Rape in the City, the anonymous narrator really drums it in that this show is based in Manhattan, more specifically Upper East Side.
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    ‘Gossip Girl’: The Most Important Show of Our TimeLast night’s giddily awaited premiere of Gossip Girl did not disappoint.
  31. cultural capital
    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: It’s a Scheming Bureaucrat’s Prerogative to Change His MindThe characters pivot along with the plot, conveniently forgetting everything they believed in and fought for just a few hours earlier.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Take Your Jack Sack and GoLast night’s was a breather episode, as new plot wheels were somewhat laboriously put into motion for the final six hours of the season.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Five Kinds of Absurdity!This week, Jack goes for a ride under a truck, Fayed goes for a ride with a chain around his neck, and basic dramatic logic takes a ride out the window.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: We’ve Found Our AnswersWelcome to the Two-Four, bitch.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Kim vs. the Cougar, ReduxLast night’s episode was low on absurdity and high on stupidity, featuring what may have been the low point of the season.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Watch Jack Play Old Computer Games!This week: incredibly cheap-looking Atari-level special effects, a few words that can’t be said on 24, and some remarkably poor decision-making by bad guys and Bill Buchanan alike.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Beware the KiwiLast night’s episode featured the surprise returns of batty Martha Logan and her new heartthrob, laconic Agent Pierce.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-O-Meter: Jack Bauer in ‘Matlock’Last night saw the return of two cherished elements of 24: The great Powers Boothe as spooky Vice-President Noah Daniels, and Jack Bauer’s Nev-R Fail Torture Technique®.
  39. cultural capital
    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Beware of Leaky Tape Recorders!Last night’s decidedly meh installment was low on Bauer action and high on both boring Morris-Chloe subplots and the lackadaisical packing of a suitcase by a bearded ex-president.
  40. cultural capital
    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Josh Bauer Lacks the Family’s Flair for DramaLast night the absurdity kicked into high gear as viewers were treated to a return to the boiler room of doom, Papa Bauer’s strange drama-queen flourishes, and Morris’s surprise alcoholism.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Treason, Sedition, and BreakdownsThree generations of Bauers! Two whole episodes! One Powers Booth scene! Good times.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-O-Meter: Honor Thy FatherLast night: Fraternal torture! Filial murder! That’ll do, Papa Bauer, that’ll do.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: They Learned It From Watching You, DadOur countdown of the most incredibly ridiculous (ridiculously incredible?) plot points in the last hour of Jack Bauer’s crappy day.
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    The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: Bauer Family ValuesLast night was relatively slow going for the Absurd-o-Meter — post-nuke, preposterousness took a backseat to plot — but we still found our top three.
  45. cultural capital
    Ridiculous Plot Points? No L.A. Traffic? Welcome Back, ‘24’!Enjoying the addictive pleasures of 24 has always required a willingness to also swallow a whole lot of hooey.