“Triple Sec” by T.J. Alexander is a romance novel with more than one happy ending.
Mel, a tattooed bartender nursing her wounds from a divorce, finds love again with Bebe, an employment lawyer. The catch? Bebe is already married, and has an open relationship with her spouse, Kade, a nonbinary artist.
Alexander, who uses they/them pronouns, is a rising star in the contemporary romance world, writing books that center queer characters.
“Triple Sec” is the latest in Alexander’s prolific streak of four books published in three years. Their previous books have included a nonbinary romantic lead (“Chef’s Kiss”), a trans woman falling for a trans man (“Chef’s Choice”) and a trans man who reconnects with a high school ex (“Second Chances in Port Saint Stephen”).
The novel comes as polyamory is “in the ether,” as Alexander puts it. Stories depicting polyamorous relationships are often received with a blend of curiosity, fascination and backlash.
“Couple to Throuple,” a polyamorous dating show, premiered on Peacock. A New York Times story about a 20-person polycule broke the internet. Molly Roden Winter’s memoir “Open,” about juggling an open marriage with motherhood and a career, started conversations. A polyamorous throuple joined Orna Guralnik on the latest season of “Couples Therapy.” Then, there are the perpetual advice columns and AITA threads about couples torn apart by one person who wants to “open” their relationship and one who doesn’t.
“It seems like more and more ‘mainstream’ folks are curious, or interested in (polyamory),” Alexander said. “It’s one of the kinds of relationships there’s still some taboo about. Like, that’s something you wouldn’t reveal in polite society — very much like how any queer relationship was 15 or 20 years ago.”
While there are are polyamorous configurations in romance and erotica novels, “Triple Sec” is notable in that it’s one of the first, if not the first, in the contemporary romance space. Alexander hopes “Triple Sec” is a joyful, and not vexed, look at polyamory.
What was your intention with this book?
I was aware that this was going to be, in a lot of ways, the first kind of romance of its kind traditionally published here. I was like, ‘We have a responsibility. We do not have the narrative plentitude to fall back on.’ I had to make sure that it’s not this lurid, scandalous kind of portrayal (of polyamory), or an angsty portrayal of how difficult it is. I wanted it to be a fun, flirty and funny, more of a gentle take. Most of the real life poly people I know are just normal people eating chips, not angsting over their relationship 24/7.
It’s like a love triangle but the opposite.
When I pitched this book, I was like, “Here’s what this book isn’t going to be. It’s not going to be a bunch of love triangles. It’s not going to be about cheating. It’s not going to be a big bummer.”
What did you want to do?
I hate the word normalize, but I wanted to portray the main polyamorous relationship, and other forms of polyamory, to show there’s not one correct way of doing things. I think people get anxious when they hear about polyamory because they don’t know what the rules are or what’s expected. I wanted to, in a funny way, demystify all of that.
There’s a narrative device in the book that we were all very proud of. Communication is such a big component of polyamory. How are we going to show them communicating in a way that’s not, like, a total slog? I landed on the contract that these characters had that gets updated every time the relationship changes or evolves. I don’t think most people need a contract in real life, but for the purposes of this book, we needed it just to, like, keep things moving along.
A lot of times, it seems like when polyamory is mentioned, it’s in the context of relationships being destroyed.
I was very naively unaware. I think because I’m queer, I don’t know what straight people are doing. And so, I remember when I was first drafting out the outline, both my agent and my editor were like, “There have to be points, especially at the start of the book, to show that Bebe and Kate like each other and that polyamory isn’t something that like they’re they’re doing to try and get away from each other.”
And I was like, “What are you talking about? Why would someone do that?” They explained it to me. The guy opens up the relationship, and then the woman actually gets more attention, and he gets all upset. This was fascinating to me. I, again, very naively, didn’t understand that. Oh, that’s what a lot of straight people experience with polyamory. Hilarious. I was like, “Oh, they’re doing it wrong.” I will make it very, very clear that these people actually like each other. I was so blown away by that.
Mel hasn’t experienced a polyamorous relationship before. Why was she the right character to start with?
Going back to how few polyamorous relationships are represented in contemporary media books, I figured there’s probably going to be a decent chunk of my readership who might be approaching this kind of book for the first time.
It’s not my job to hold everybody’s hand and explain the facts of life to them. But I do think I have a responsibility to readers who are coming to something for the first time. The best way to do that, and the funniest way as well, is to do it through the point of view of a main character who isn’t as experienced. I wanted her to be kind of our tour guide through this.
Do you hope your book opens doors for polyamorous romances?
I hope there’s more to come. You can’t just have one and say, “OK, we did it. We’re done.” That would be like, “We published one queer book back in 2002 and now we’re done doing that.” You should have as many different points of view about a topic or a story as possible. My poly romance may not feel like the kind of story that some readers want or need. There are so many experiences out there. There are people of color out there writing poly romances. Those are the kinds of experiences that I don’t think I can, you know, provide with my limited talent. The more the merrier.
What do poly people think of the book?
I’ve been touring the last couple weeks. Very, very kind people will come up to me and say, usually in a whisper, “I’m poly and I’m really excited to see this. I’m going to pass it around to all my partners.” And I’m like, “That’s so sweet, but really, all your partners should be buying their own copy.” That’s my joke for the poly readers. That’s so nice, and thank you, but I’m sorry. I do think that you all deserve your own copy.