Tennis star Naomi Osaka says she feels like a stranger in her own body after her early exit from the Cincinnati Open, capping off a string of disappointing performances since she returned from maternity leave.
"My biggest issue currently isn't losses though, my biggest issue is that I don't feel like I'm in my body," Osaka wrote Tuesday on Instagram. "It's a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn't miss, hitting balls softer than I remember I used to."
After the birth of her first child with her boyfriend, the rapper Cordae, in July 2023, Osaka, a four-time Grand Slam champion, returned to the court in January. But her comeback has not gone as planned.
Osaka lost in the first round of the Australia Open, then faltered in the second rounds of the French Open and Wimbledon. At the Cincinnati Open on Monday, she lost to American Ashlyn Krueger in the final round of qualifiers.
Once the world's No. 1 player, Osaka, 26, is now ranked 90th as she prepares for the final Grand Slam of the year at the U.S. Open, with qualifiers starting Monday.
She shared that, despite her efforts to stay positive in the face of those challenges, the experience has taken a considerable mental toll.
"I try and tell myself 'it's fine you're doing great, just get through this one and keep pushing', mentally it's really draining though," Osaka said. "Internally I hear myself screaming 'what the hell is happening?!?!'"
She described the emotional dissonance as one she could liken only to "being postpartum," a feeling she found scary because what was once an extension of her hand — the tennis racket — suddenly felt "brand new again."
"This should be as simple as breathing to me but it's not and I genuinely did not give myself grace for that fact until just now," she continued.
Osaka, one of the biggest names in tennis, has previously spoken out about the mental health challenges athletes face.
In May 2021, she made international headlines when she withdrew from the French Open after she refused to talk to the media, citing the negative impact of media scrutiny on her mental health.
A couple of months later, she wrote an essay for Time magazine elaborating on her decision and calling for a more empathetic environment around athletes.
In response, French Open organizers changed their media format in 2022.
Looking ahead to the U.S. Open, where she is a two-time champion, Osaka concluded her message with a vow of perseverance.
"Nothing in life is promised but I realized that I can promise myself to work as hard as I can and give it my best shot till the very end," she said. "See you in New York."
