What Bridget Everett Can’t Live Without

You have to keep those ears clean so you can hear your dreams coming true. First of all, someone told me they’re banning plastic Q-tips in Europe, which is a good thing to me. These are biodegradable so I’m not a monster. I’ve used them ever since I was a little girl to clean out my ears. I’m not trying to puncture my ear drum, but I do like to get in there and get my work done. I feel like if the Q-tip gets just a little loose at the end, it can really get in there and tickle or dance with your eardrum. I find it very satisfying.

A lot of people think vanilla- and hazelnut-flavored coffees are for pussies, but since I drink it without any water — you’re meant to dilute it but I don’t — I feel like it’s a hardcore coffee with the strength of a cold brew but the tender touch of a vanilla. You get gentle and tough all at the same time.

If you want to get minty fresh, you gotta start from the ground up. Build it, and they will come. I first tried the wash when I was dog-sitting for someone. I know you’re not supposed to use other people’s products when you’re in their homes, but it was so inviting. I was really taken aback by the minty fresh shock it gave my downstairs neighbor, if you know what I mean. I haven’t really recovered, and now I buy it for myself.

Whether it’s my Resist ring or my custom Poppy nameplate (that’s my dog’s name), you know who you’re dealing with. I met this jewelry artist on Fire Island when I was hanging out with Peaches, and she became my go-to for rings and necklaces. I wrote a song called Pussy Grabs Back, so I have jewelry that says that, too. Even though I’m 46 and from Kansas, I feel like it gives me swagger.

If you see me walking Poppy braless on the Upper West Side, it will most definitely be in one of my many Puppies Make Me Happy tank tops. I like the feel, I like the message, and they make people smile, so what’s not to love? Of course, they remind me of Poppy, my sweet dog, too. She is heaven. She is perfection. She keeps the lights on inside. Adopt don’t shop. I found her on Petfinder about three and a half years ago, and she’s just my full heart. Follow her on Instagram.

I just moved from a ground-floor apartment to a penthouse, so I’ve been slowly curating it to make it my dream Poppy palace. I bought this photo to put over my bed and also found these 1950s Ford headlights that live right above it. It makes me laugh every time I see it. It’s also a message I like to leave my parting guests.

I saw on Julie Klausner’s Instagram that she’d gotten her cat Jimmy Jazz this custom neon sign, and I was so inspired, I had to get one for Poppy. It sits right above my TV and gives me so much pleasure.