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MOST RECENT ARTICLES BY:

Claire Lampen

  1. lawsuits
    Google Won’t Disclose Names of ‘Sh*tty Men in Media’ List ContributorsAn attorney for the tech giant called the request “overbroad” and “invalid.”
  2. niche drama
    I Am Living for the Drama Over France’s Obsolete ThroneOnly one man can be king of a country that has no king.
  3. you’re doing great sweetie
    Extra Large Great White Shark Either Pregnant or ‘Very Full’Either way, congrats!
  4. sexism
    Fancy Manhattan Restaurant Allegedly Won’t Let Women Sit Alone at the BarThe owner seems to have assumed that solo women must be escorts.
  5. cautious optimism
    Can This Orca Baby Break the Curse?An orca family has finally had a calf survive after four very unlucky years!
  6. big boy
    Toddler-in-Chief Doesn’t Wanna ‘Do’ a National EmergencyBut he might!
  7. golden years
    Take Me to the Sloth Retirement HomeI just want someone to boil my root vegetables to soft perfection.
  8. sensory overload
    What Do You Think the Fatberg Feels Like?I’m sorry.
  9. crime
    Woman in Vegetative State Gives Birth, Prompting Sexual-Assault InvestigationPolice are now seeking DNA samples from male staff at the nursing home where she’s been a long-term patient.
  10. golden years
    I’m Extremely Jealous of Frankie Muniz’s Retiree LifestyleOkay, he’s still gainfully employed, but he bought an olive-oil store called “Outrageous Olive Oils & Vinegars”!!
  11. crime
    Here’s Why You Don’t Try to Kidnap Someone Inside a Karate StudioIt can only end one way!
  12. meme miracles
    Potato Jesus Meme Reverses Town’s FortunesThe bungled Ecce Homo restoration is creating jobs and funding local elder care, isn’t that nice?
  13. hungry hungry hippo
    I Just Want to Take Another Look at HerFiona the Hippo reached 1,000 pounds this week — our girl’s growing up so fast.
  14. space
    Look at This Giant Martian Skating RinkDid you know that aliens love to skate?
  15. slippery situations
    Man Mysteriously Trapped in Grease Vent Emerges Slick But UnscathedThe grease bandit was reportedly “less than truthful about his … intentions” inside the vent.
  16. death by hygge
    Coziness Could Kill YouBurning numerous candles might be charring up your innards.
  17. politics
    Government Blames Death of 7-Year-Old Migrant on Parents“Once again, we are begging parents to not put themselves or their children at risk attempting to enter illegally.”
  18. junk food
    Trump, Noted Garbage Enthusiast, Wants Kids to Be Free to Eat More GarbageThe USDA is permitting more fats, refined flour, and sodium on school menus.
  19. parliament pooper
    Who’s Pooping All Over the South Australian Parliament?Frantic MPs are considering passing a motion to unmask the mystery defecator.
  20. teen trends
    Teen Seals Are Shoving Eels Up Their NosesThe seal version of the TidePod challenge.