New York Magazine Competition No. 57: Comic Con Speeches

By , New York’s city editor who joined the magazine in 1993

Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays, we lay out a challenge and offer sample responses. Enter in the comments section or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 57: “COMIC CON SPEECHES.” Please offer a line from a celebrity’s imagined speech to the fans at New York Comic Con next week. For example:

Rudy Giuliani: “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Taylor Swift: “And please welcome to the stage … my good friend Stan Lee!”

Jerry Seinfeld: “Well, it is good cape weather.”

Hillary Clinton: “Yeah, actually, I burned all my back issues. Sorry.”

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #comiconspeeches, or in the comments thread below, by October 7.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 56, “MAKE A MOVIE POLITE,” in which you were asked to re-title a novel for New York’s literary borough of late.

HONORABLE MENTION TO:

Portnoy’s Quibble
—‏@tremes15

V for Very Delicious Pies
—@candicehelfandr

Possibly Misunderstood in Translation
—ggreg

Get That Guy, Without Being Heightist About It
—jtanzer

I Drink Your Blood Orange Juice
—3North

Apology Now
—rgqueen

Escort Mother From the Train
—kg1958

Kiss, Kiss, Nudge, Nudge
—thelisareid

Debbie, Regrettably, Doesn’t Do Dallas
—aronmio

Cuddlygula
—nilo

The Hugger Games
—BENLINUS99

There Will Be Boo-boos
—danaco

Batman ❤ Superman: A Stroll at Dawn
—FlirtySanchez

Conflict Resolution Club
—danaco

Not-conforming-to-society’s-bathing-standards Harry
—‏@mery_rox

Ke7in       
—MiddleCoastDan

To Catch and Release a Mockingbird
—OldYeller62

Community on the Bounty
—queasyrider

The Ten Suggestions
—FlirtySanchez

Neutralize Bill
—danaco

There Will be Owies
—

Full Cashmere Jacket
—Duke84

Fear and Loathing in Salt Lake City
—AlienIncognito

Below Average Intelligence and Farther Below Average Intelligence
—SirEatALot

The Empire Hugs Back
—Classicist

Star Wars Episode III: The Sith Express Their Various Concerns
—robstumpf

AND THE WINNER IS:

Please Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia
—RustyShackelford

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New York Competition No. 57: Comic Con Speeches