The Clinton-Fox-Condi-Hillary "terror wars" doubles match is fun tabloid fodder but a fiery blow to thoughtful public debate. As the ladies take this opportunity to make stern faces at each other, what they should really be doing is hugging.

Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice are both women behind hotheaded men who are alternately worshipped and despised. When Bill Clinton rages at Chris Wallace, Hillary defends him. When George W. Bush says something incomprehensible, Condi regurgitates his words in an educated, sensible manner. Together, they've shouldered a burden that should give them a bond.

But instead, they hiss at each other. In an effort to begin the healing, Early and Often invited Hillary and Condi to a pretend undisclosed location. The following détente ensued:

E&O: Well, the healing, let's get it rolling. Madame Secretary?

Condi: Well, first off, it's my job. I serve at the pleasure of the president of the United States. I respond to criticism of our foreign policy — be it from Bill Clinton or Hugo Chavez.

Hillary: Ah! See, right there, there is it. No shame, no shame at all with you people. I came in here in good faith — I canceled bingo in Peekskill. Seniors never forget, never.

I let you choose the bottled water. I …

Condi: It was just an example chosen at random.

Hillary: Whatever.

Condi: Indeed.

Hillary: Was Max Cleland an example chosen at random?

Condi: I don't even know what that means.

Hillary: Indeed.

Condi: Whatever.

[Rice's cell phone rings. Her ringtone is the theme from Dallas.]

Condi: I … I gotta take this … Hi … Yes. I'm in New York. Tonight, I'll be back down tonight.

What's wrong? What? Say it again. [Pauses, speaks in a stage whisper.] They're in the third drawer from the top, to the left, next to your golf shirts. [Turns to Clinton.] I'm sorry.

Hillary: Dress pants?

Condi: "Work" jeans. It's "brush-clearing day."

Hillary: I see.

[Pause]

Condi: [Perspiring] I'd rather you didn't witness that …

Hillary: It's fine.

[Five minutes of silence.]

Hillary: It's strange. These men we've chosen. Chelsea and I, we have our own language at this point. We didn't even have to make eye contact during that Fox thing. It's in the air.

Condi: It was what it was.

Hillary: It always is.

Condi: Indeed.