When we were just out of college and had all that stoned free time, we would sometimes, just to boost our low self-esteem, play epically unfair sports video-game mismatches. You know, our 1985 Chicago Bears against an NFL Europe team, that sort of thing. (The image of a lonely post-grad making himself feel better by destroying a computer opponent on a video game is painfully pathetic, we’re fully aware.) It was funny to see how physical dominance could be simulated in a video game: Our Bears were faster, stronger, bigger, and, as far as we know, better at math. It was like simulating a fight between vintage-era Mike Tyson and this guy.
Anyway, we couldn’t help but think of that this morning when we read that Eddy Curry, recently slimmed down (slightly) Knicks center, who says he feels so great out on the court that he thinks he can take on anybody. Anybody.
“I’m so happy to be back; doesn’t matter to me,” Curry said. “I’ll guard Kobe [Bryant].”
The Knicks are in Los Angeles to play the Lakers and start their three-game West Coast swing, and if there were any fear that fans might not find entertaining reasons to watch the Knicks, putting Curry on Kobe would take care of that, right quick. (Apparently, Coach D’Antoni thinks he has better options. We know, right?)
The new Eddy Curry is slim, “fiery,” and ready to take on the world. There’s your 2009–10 Knicks story line. They should put that on the programs.