perfect games

Dallas Braden Is the Perfect Mound Protector

We don’t care what he does the rest of his career: Whether he wins a World Series or a Cy Young, or if he runs for president, we’re probably always going to consider A’s pitcher Dallas Braden the weirdo who has a pretend rule about the pitching mound. One perfect game isn’t going to change that. But one perfect game is still pretty freaking awesome.

That’s how they do it in the 209! (We were playing pickup basketball yesterday and were sorely tempted to yell, “Yeah, that’s 217 style!” every time we hit a jumper, were we to ever actually hit one.) Braden threw the nineteenth perfect game in baseball history — Nineteen! In baseball history! — and he’ll be mayor of Bradenia for life.

Inevitably, A-Rod was asked what he thought of Braden’s feat, and it was a good moment for A-Rod:


“I’ve learned in my career, it is much better to be recognized for all the great things you do on the field. Good for him, he threw a perfect game. And better yet, he beat the Rays.”

A-Rod’s learning! You compliment a guy, and then you focus on the pennant chase. Well played. Now, let’s cheer for the A’s to win the AL West this year. Because we don’t want this Braden–A-Rod thing to ever end.

Dallas Braden Is the Perfect Mound Protector