lost causes

Oliver Perez Is Your Loathsome Mets Distraction

Sad Mr. Met.

Oliver Perez should be cut. Oliver Perez should be sent to the minors, whether he wants to go or not. Oliver Perez should never be allowed near a major-league mound. Oliver Perez should be loaded into a T-shirt cannon and fired into the sixth row of the Pepsi Porch. Everyone’s talking about Oliver Perez this morning, and that’ll happen when his ERA is 10.38 since returning from the “disabled” list and he’s still owed $16 million over the next fourteen months. But, uh, tap-tap-tap on the shoulder, the Mets lost 4-1 last night to Atlanta, thanks largely to three Braves first-inning runs, and now they’ve fallen all the way down to .500 and fourth place in the NL East. The Mets’ playoff hopes are essentially over, and we’re going to have a couple more months of Who’s Getting Fired? and Do The Wilpons Have Any Money To Spend? Just like every other off-season. You know, maybe Oliver Perez is a little more fun to talk about.

Oliver Perez Is Your Loathsome Mets Distraction