Starbucks Shoves Brooklyn Down Your Throat

The branding of Brooklyn continues. First they announced that someone was writing a Brooklyn version of Sex and the City, then MTV hit us with the news that there was a Real World: Brooklyn show in the works. Now Starbucks has created a drink called The Brooklyn, a vanilla-bean Frappuccino with a caramel swirl. At 40 more cents more than a standard Frappuccino ($4.90 for a venti), it’s like a little liquid metaphor for the borough itself — overpriced, cloying, and perfect for kids! The Brooklyn Paper reports:

Created by a Starbucks district manager after noticing high school girls customizing the traditional vanilla bean frappuccino, “The Brooklyn” consists of nothing more than the ubiquitous chain’s existing drink, enhanced with a bit more sugar.

They let schoolgirls decide what goes in The Brooklyn?? See this is why 21 is the legal age for drinking. You can’t trust minors to pick their own beverages. In more disturbing news, there’s no caffeine in The Brooklyn! That’s the real deal-breaker right there. A drink is not really a drink unless it makes your hands tremble, we always say.

According to The Brooklyn Paper, the beverage has already garnered its first celebrity endorsement.

Denzel Washington and John Travolta apparently quaffed a few during the filming of The Taking of Pelham in the neighborhood last month, a production assistant said.

We expect this sort of thing from John, but et tu, Denz?

Now the question remains, will Starbucks dare to make The Manhattan? If so, will it cost approximately $12, have quadruple the caffeine of their normal coffee, and be administered via an IV drip so that we could switch out the plastic bag come nightfall and replace it with one holding a bourbon-and-vermouth Manhattan?

What would be in your Manhattan? Leave it in the comments section! —Noelle Hancock