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How Well Do You Know This Infamous Sonic the Hedgehog YouTube Video?

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Photo: TMS Entertainment

You might know Sonic and his main pals, Tails and Knuckles, but the Sonic franchise — through dozens of games, TV shows, and comic books — has a sprawling cast of characters. Anthropomorphic animals and robots and aliens come together to form a rich tapestry and never-ending saga. All over the web you can find fan art, and debates and tributes to these characters.

But one fan tribute rises above the rest as the most disconcerting and funniest Sonic tribute I’ve ever seen. Those unlucky enough to know me well will eventually receive a link to this video. Years ago, a YouTube user named Guptill89 uploaded a video extolling the virtues of “the Top 10 Hottest Female Sonic Characters.” The video is something to behold: an enthusiastic, medium-creepy, clumsily written roundup of the extended Sonic universe’s most crushable babes. Every line of it will make you want to shrivel up into a husk and disappear from this reality. I cannot get enough of this video.

“Since Valentine’s Day is around the corner, I’ve been inspired to make a top-ten list of the most beautiful female Sonic characters,” our narrator informs us. How fitting then, that we should revisit this video on Valentine’s Day 2020, when the release of the Sonic the Hedgehog movie lands in theaters.

You can watch the video below. Or, if you’re already familiar, you can skip to the quiz that follows. Can you match the cringeworthy description to the corresponding Sonic character? Good luck!

Which Sonic Character Is This About?

Can you match each description from Guptill89's harrowing, classic "Top 10 Hottest Female Sonic Characters" video to the correct character? Let's find out!

“One of the greatest and most attractive characters ever thought up.”
“She becomes Miles ‘Tails’ Prower’s sweetheart — something Tails needed for a long while.”
“She’s attractive and is the size of an average human mother.”
"Two things that make her attractive are: the fact that she wears a dress — and when have you seen three big, very smooth arcs of hair sticking out of a person's forehead?"
“She’s yet another character who hardly does a thing, except beg her father to stop being so greedy. She also traps herself inside the Master Emerald so that the water god Chaos doesn’t rain terror upon the land.”
“Next to Princess Sally, she looks more humanoid than the other characters. Who can top someone who has long mauve hair?”
“With two very long feathers extending from her head to her calves and droopy eyes, _____ will rock your socks.”
“What really lands ____ at the number-four spot is: Her attitude is apparently different than the other females.”
“What’s better than a female with cascading quills? How about a female with cascading quills and hair?”
“She’s the heir to the throne, Sonic’s first official romance, the only character that used to not wear clothes, brave and athletic, the most humanoid character, and is like a mother to Tails.”
“Who wouldn’t want to fly across the landscape, be as strong as Shawn Johnson, and flirt with any male anytime anywhere?”

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How Well Do You Know This Infamous Sonic YouTube Video?