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Early And Awesome

  1. paladinosaur
    Carl Paladino Is Mad As Hell, Prefers Not to Continue Taking ItThe Buffalo millionaire kicks off his gubernatorial campaigns by insulting his opponents.
    By Dan Amira
  2. early and awesome
    Andrew Young Is Finally Able to Make a Joke About the John Edwards AffairEdwards’s brokenhearted former “body man” makes a funny! Kind of.
    By Jessica Pressler
  3. the geithnerator
    Tim Geithner: &#%*@ This Jobless RateThe Treasury secretary turns his famed temper to unemployment.
    By Jessica Pressler
  4. early and awesome
    Sexperienced Candidates: A Recent HistoryProstitutes and porn stars run for office more than you might realize.
    By Dan Amira
  5. early and awesome
    John McCain Accuses Opponent of Insulting Fictional Alien RaceMaverick move No. 1,503: Defending the Na’vi.
    By Dan Amira
  6. tell us about your hernia
    Hank Paulson Is Talking About His Stomach Problems AgainApparently, he has a chronic condition.
    By Jessica Pressler
  7. early and awesome
    Mort Zuckerman Could Make This Race Very InterestingWould Zuckerman dare allow his laundry to be aired in public?
    By Dan Amira
  8. the geithnerator
    Tim Geithner Is Criticized Wherever He GoesEven at home.
    By Jessica Pressler
  9. early and awesome
    Mort Zuckerman Is Reportedly Considering Running for SenateWell, why not?
    By Jessica Pressler
  10. early and awesome
    Chuck Schumer Has a Challenger As WellHe is Phil Krone, and he shouldn’t even be alive right now.
    By Dan Amira
  11. early and awesome
    Obama Doesn’t ‘Begrudge’ Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfein Their BonusesBut he’s not entirely sure the pay for those two hitters is justified, either.
    By Jessica Pressler
  12. early and awesome
    Hank Paulson: George W. Bush Was ‘Like a Mother’ to MeThe president not only opened up the national pocketbook to Paulson, he opened his heart.
    By Jessica Pressler
  13. caption contest
    Treasury Secretary Plays Coy About What It Felt Like to Hug the PresidentCaption contest, anyone?
    By Jessica Pressler
  14. highway to hell
    TARP Watchdog: ‘It Is Hard to See How Any of the Fundamental Problems in the System Have Been Addressed’Or, he could put it another way.
    By Jessica Pressler
  15. the geithnerator
    Tim Geithner: Talk To the HandThe Treasury secretary comes out swinging at his big hearing.
    By Jessica Pressler
  16. early and awesome
    Gillibrand-Ford Feud Getting Testier, More AwesomeFord calls Gillibrand a bird; Gillibrand calls him a child.
    By Dan Amira
  17. early and awesome
    SIGTARP’s Neil Barofsky Is Way More Badass Than We Realized“He still has the knife from a foiled attempt on his life in a field outside Bogotá.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  18. early and awesome
    Peter Orszag’s Ex-Girlfriend Does Not Buy Her Own Self-Help BooksClaire Milonas is a shipping heiress with an Amazon wish list.
    By Jessica Pressler
  19. early and awesome
    Peter Orszag Is Getting Married!To a woman!
    By Adam K. Raymond
  20. early and awesome
    New Health-Care Tax Targets the PastyAnd the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ becomes a political lightning rod.
    By Jessica Pressler
  21. early and awesome
    Ben Bernanke Is Time’s Person of the YearThe year ‘Time’ gave up on counterintuitiveness.
    By Jessica Pressler
  22. early and awesome
    Obama Reminds Bankers Who’s BossFrom those who received extraordinary assistance, an extraordinary commitment is demanded.
    By Jessica Pressler
  23. disses
    Wall Street Disses White HouseHeads of financial companies say they can’t make it to today’s meeting because of “inclement weather.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  24. early and often
    Tim Geithner Throws Stones in a Glass House of RepresentativesThe Treasury secretary got into it at a Joint Economic Committee hearing this morning.
    By Jessica Pressler
  25. early and awesome
    Chuck Schumer Also Really Loves This Band Sleigh Bells That He Read About on PitchforkThe senator vows to fight to keep concerts at the McCarren Park pool.
    By Jessica Pressler
  26. early and awesome
    Representative Elijah Cummings Steels Himself for Bank of America’s CEO PickHopefully it’s not that chump Brian Moynihan.
    By Jessica Pressler
  27. early and awesome
    New Yorker Running for Idaho Senate — From New YorkAh, nothing like taking advantage of a quirky election loophole.
    By Dan Amira
  28. white men with money
    Neel Kashkari Calls ‘Bull’ on Banks’ Claims They Didn’t Need TARP MoneyOut in the mountains of California, Neel Kashkari has been doing some thinking.
    By Jessica Pressler
  29. early and awesome
    The Obama Administration Is Just Full of ‘Sons of Bitches’What? That’s how they talk.
    By Jessica Pressler
  30. nuts
    Congress Does Not Want to Hear About How ‘Mammoth’ Bank of America’s Nuts AreIn response to a subpoena, Bank of America drops a pile of useless e-mails on a congressman’s desk.
    By Jessica Pressler
  31. early and awesome
    A Pagan King Is Running for City CouncilLiterally, a pagan king.
    By Dan Amira
  32. early and awesome
    ‘That’s Linda McMahon and You Will Treat Her With the Respect She Deserves’We are really, really excited for the Senate candidacy of the former CEO of the WWE.
    By Chris Rovzar
  33. early and awesome
    Bernanke: ‘The Recession Is Very Likely Over’The Fed chairman calls the end of the year of our discontent.
    By Jessica Pressler
  34. early and awesome
    Joe Lieberman Throws Down the Gauntlet for Alec BaldwinCome on, funny man, “make my day.”
    By Dan Amira
  35. early and awesome
    Treasury Secretary Was Aggressive With RegulatorsPassive aggressive.
    By Jessica Pressler
  36. big-time lapses of judgment
    Geithner Loses ItThe Treasury secretary lets loose on FDIC head Sheila Bair and SEC head Mary Shapiro with an “expletive-riddled” rant.
    By Jessica Pressler
  37. early and often
    There’s No Free Lunch With ObamaThe president is careful about who gets into his snack cabinet.
    By Jessica Pressler
  38. profiles in corruption
    ‘I Am What You Call a Matchmaker’Levy-Izhak Rosenbaum, the rabbi who was arrested today for organ trafficking as part of the New Jersey sweep, explains his business methods.
    By Jessica Pressler
  39. early and awesome
    ‘The People Who Were Against Us … Get Ground Into Powder’The political philosophy of Hoboken Mayor Peter Cammarano, who was arrested today for accepting $25,000 in bribes.
    By Jessica Pressler
  40. early and awesome
    A Brief History of Novelty Mayoral CandidatesThe Naked Cowboy and Reverend Billy can learn from the candidacies of Kenny Kramer, Bernie Goetz, and Norman Mailer.
    By Dan Amira
  41. early and awesome
    Used-Car Salesman Promises Unremarkable Campaign for GovernorHow little money can this man raise?
    By Dan Amira
  42. early and awesome
    Alec Baldwin Takes Jack Cafferty Behind the WoodshedLet’s nip this whole “not qualified” thing in the bud right now.
    By Dan Amira
  43. early and awesome
    Congressman Peter King Has Awakened a Sleeping GiantMichael Jackson fans are mobilizing against their new common enemy.
    By Dan Amira
  44. early and awesome
    Barack Obama’s Ears: A HistoryThe many times Obama and others have mocked his ears.
    By Dan Amira
  45. early and awesome
    A History of Embarrassing Presidential PhotosIt’s inspired.
    By Jessica Pressler
  46. early and awesome
    Bernanke to Lewis: You’re a Nice Guy. You’re A NICE GUY. But…That don’t cut it.
    By Jessica Pressler
  47. early and awesome
    Meet the Man in Charge of Wall Street PayYou’ll want to address Kenneth Feinberg by his formal title.
    By Jessica Pressler
  48. let’s get metaphysical
    Barney Frank: ‘There Is Only Obama’He is everywhere! He is all around you! In the Earth and the trees and the oxygen that you breathe!
    By Jessica Pressler
  49. early and awesome
    Tim Geithner and Larry Summers Are Still Best FriendsGeithner keeps his mentor happy with a combination of Shamu techniques and sugar.
    By Jessica Pressler
  50. the future leaders of the free world
    Intern Season in D.C. Gets Off to a Promising StartD.C. interns are in the House! Or rather, they’re headed there.
    By Jessica Pressler
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