J-Vanka a Step Closer to Jew-VankaIvanka’s found a controversial rabbi to oversee her conversion so she can finally marry Jared Kushner and create perfect, Chosen offspring.
‘The View’ Darkly Celebrates Red Hook IkeaOn this morning’s show, everyone in the audience got free $200 gift cards — but the audience didn’t seem thrilled. And Whoopi was downright ominous: “Don’t forget, you’ll be putting it together, too.”
P. Diddy’s Feet Are a Hot MessWhat’s got Diddy’s dogs barking, what Kim Kardashian is doing to get back at Paris Hilton, and another reason to dislike of Gwyneth Paltrow in our daily roundup of the day’s gossip.
Live-Blogging Barack Obama on ‘The View’Barack Obama discussed taxes, Reverend Wright, and his inherent sexiness on ‘The View’ this morning. We followed it closely. When we weren’t being distracted by his big brown eyes.
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Nick Lachey and JCPenney Do Not Mix, Even If Paid to Do SoNick Lachey threw a hissy fit at a JCPenney party on Hudson Street, despite the fact that he was being paid to be there. Michael Strahan says he loves girlfriend Nicole Murphy, but isn’t sure about marriage. Execs at Sony are annoyed that Michael Jackson’s Thriller 25 is on the Billboard oldies’ chart instead of the Billboard Top 200 chart, despite the fact that it has six new songs. Nelly picked up the coat-check girl at Plumm. Outkast’s André 3000 is looking for an apartment in the city and just toured a multi-million-dollar penthouse on West 13th Street. Justin Timberlake gave menu recommendations to patrons at his Southern Hospitality.
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It’s the Media That Makes Elisabeth Hasselbeck Seem Witchy, Not Her Live TV ShowThe View hostess Elisabeth Hasselbeck is just consistently misunderstood. First of all, she tells Newsweek, she is an “artist” — not a mere talking head. Secondly, she was “joking” (and totally hormonal!) when she said that Hillary Clinton had her vote after the senator sent her a nice note when her baby was born. But what’s really bizarre, she says, is how people think she’s kind of a bitch. “People are, like, ‘she must be witchy,’” Hasselbeck says. But that’s not her fault, see. The liberal media makes her look that way. “I think it’s the liberal bias in the media that I’m the one who’s argumentative,” she says. That’s funny, because we would think it’s all the screeching about “our enemies in Iraq” and “life begins at penetration” shrillery that comes out of her own mouth on live television that would make people think that.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck [Newsweek]
in other news
Handwritten Notes Are Even More Powerful Than Bob Morris Thought!We totally rolled our eyes at Bob Morris’s very last “Age of Dissonance” column in the “Sunday Styles” section this weekend, because the “Thank You Notes Are Nice” column has been written approximately 400 gazillion times before, although probably not ever preceded by the awesome caveat, “if you want to be sure to be included in a will…” But that was before we saw the true transformative qualities a handwritten note can have! This morning’s Post reports that such a note from Hillary Clinton actually managed to flip right-wing harpy Elisabeth Hasselbeck into a Democrat! Apparently, Hillary sent Hasselbeck a missive after the birth of her son a couple of weeks ago. It was “truly a most thoughtful and warm act,” Hasselbeck told the Post. “I may actually change my vote.” Well, how about that! If anyone needs us, we’ll be at home calligraphing thank-you notes to Jared Kushner and Stan O’Neal. Maybe they’ll include us in their wills!
A New “View” On Old Clinton [NYP]
Yes, Thank You [NYT]
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Hassling HasselbackRosie O’Donnell’s chief writer at The View was busted for drawing mustaches on pictures of arch-nemesis Elisabeth Hasselback. Accused D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey wants to publicize more names from her client list, but ABC News says there are no other even remotely noteworthy names on it. David Blaine wants to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. (Please!) Mary-Kate Olsen and Matthew Modine are set to join the cast of Weeds. The maps have been removed from Jodi’s Shortcuts, the semi-famous Hamptons traffic-avoidance routes. Callers trying to reach Sarah Silverman as part of an MTV Movie Awards promo have been accidentally dialing some company in Texas.
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Jack Donaghy Is an Angry FatherAlec Baldwin called his daughter “a rude, thoughtless little pig” after he phoned her and she didn’t pick up. Julianne Moore complained about the price of a bottle of water at the theater. Police think the Anne Bass robbery was an inside job. Neither Russell Simmons nor L.A. Reid attended Al Sharpton’s National Action Network dinner, although both were invited. Britney Spears fired her manager because she was mad he made her check into rehab, but her father stands by him. Rosie O’Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck went to Radio City Music Hall together. Donald Trump and Barbara Walters avoided each other at Larry King’s party at the Four Seasons. Paris Hilton hooked up with James Blunt.
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Graydon Carter Is Everywhere, All the TimeAnderson Cooper, Bono, and Tom Hanks, among others, roasted Graydon Carter at a National Resources Defense Council gala (we had quotes yesterday). Harvey Weinstein introduced Graydon Carter to Jared Kushner at the Waverly Inn. Rosie O’Donnell has made The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselback cry multiple times during the show’s run. Gisele may be pregnant with quarterback Tom Brady’s baby. Linda Evangelista may be pregnant with billionaire Peter Morton’s baby. Maggie Gyllenhaal got husband Peter Sarsgaard a diaper bag for his birthday. Scarlett Johansson wants to go on a date with Patrick Swayze. Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds went on a dinner date. Rosario Dawson is dating a photographer.
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Boobs at ‘Jane’Jane magazine asked girls to bare their breasts for a picture spread but canceled after a staffer mistakenly unveiled the identities of the participants. Jake Gyllenhaal and David Fincher had some “artistic differences” on the set of Zodiac. Phillip Bloch was not impressed by how Vogue’s André Leon Talley styled Jennifer Hudson’s thighs at the Oscars. Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselback got into (another) fight at The View, which ended with Hasselback (again) in tears. Graydon Carter and Jim Kelly hosted a book party for Kurt Andersen at the Waverly Inn, and a lot of media bigwigs showed. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are not looking to buy an apartment in the Dakota, according to a rep. Spike Lee hung out with Mayor Bloomberg at City Hall.
