Lady Gaga Shunned by NunsThis is just absurd. Clearly, the very presence of this woman in all of our lives is an act of God. More, in our daily gossip roundup.
Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘I’m F—ing Ben Affleck’ Confirms Our Celebrity Suspicions
You know how you kind of wonder whether celebrities are all friends with one another? Like, do they all go to each other’s houses in Los Angeles and play parlor games on Saturday nights? Has Natalie Portman, for example, ever had to do Benicio Del Toro during the charades portion of Celebrity — which required her to point at her friend Scarlett Johansson sitting on the couch and then do a pantomime of having sex in an elevator? Well, we’ve always imagined life in La La Land to be like that. You know, like everyone has sort of all slept together and given one another weird, unfunny nicknames. And sometimes there are moments in pop culture that confirm our suspicions. This weekend had one of them, and it wasn’t the Oscars. No, the biggest clue that being famous is like being on the indoor-track team in high school was actually Jimmy Kimmel’s brilliant musical debut, “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck.” It was, of course, a follow-up to Sarah Silverman’s “I’m Fucking Matt Damon,” and although the musical caliber is a lot lower, the self-loving celebrity rate is off the charts. Click above to enjoy. It’s like Ocean’s Twelve, but watchable.
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Eli Manning’s Little Town Blues Have Melted AwayEli Manning and Yogi Berra sang “New York, New York” together at Rao’s. Male madam David Forest says Marc Jacobs used to employ his services. Mariah Carey shot a video on the rooftop of Lenny Kravitz’s Crosby Street apartment. Mayor Bloomberg celebrated his 65th birthday with Steven Ratner and others at Michael’s. R.E.M. front man Michel Stipe got into a go-cart accident two weeks ago but is fine now. Blackstone Group co-founder Pete Peterson sold his River House digs to financier Jeffrey Leeds for $10 million.
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Jessica Simpson Has the Same Crummy Friends As the Rest of UsJessica Simpson got totally pissed at Eva Longoria for hanging out with her ex John Mayer at GoldBar. MSNBC pundit Lawrence O’Donnell, who plays a lawyer on Big Love, bashed Mormonism on The McLaughlin Group on Sunday. Richard Belzer says he’s “hurt” his role on Law & Order: SVU has been cut back. PETA has dubbed the Olsen twins the “Trollsen Twins” because of their affinity for fur. Among the items in J.Lo’s gift registry for her twins are a Balmoral enameled black carriage for a $3,495 and a $289 suede play mat.
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Ba Ba Ba, Ba BarbaraleeHollywood players like Ben Stiller, Toby Maguire, and Steven Spielberg can’t figure out which Democrat to support for president, so they’re donating to multiple ones. (Tom Hanks, Will Smith, and Jennifer Aniston, however, are firmly in Camp Obama.) Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel was passed over for appointment as executive director of New York State Council of the Arts, perhaps because she has donated money to Spitzer, who’s now trying to look ethically pure. Gwen Stefani loves breast-feeding even though she’s been getting bitten. Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz refused to be photographed with their KY Intimacy Kit swag bags at Lollapalooza because they were scared of Joe Simpson. Tracy Morgan wants to get his SCRAM ankle bracelet “blinged out” at Jacob the Jeweler.
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A Money-er Honey?CNBC “Money Honey” Maria Bartiromo is jealous of co-worker Erin Burnett because Burnett is becoming more popular than she is. An upcoming book about Katie Couric claims she planned to leave NBC a year before she actually did and that the staff of 60 Minutes thinks she’s a “lightweight.” State Senator Carl Kruger is not a fan of fellow Democrat Eliot Spitzer. Jeremy Shockey took a bunch of Giants teammates to Scores. The woman who blogged about Keith Olbermann’s bedside manners is no longer maintaining her blog. Naomi Watts finally gave birth. Nora Ephron has spent a lot of time giving her breasts a workout. Christie Brinkley is spending $10.9 million to buy the house in North Haven next door to the one where Peter Cook had an affair.
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iGreedySony chairman Howard Stringer called Steve Jobs “greedy” at the Allen & Co. conference. The main character of Doug Stumpf’s Confessions of a Wall Street Shoeshine Boy may be based on pervy billionaire Jeffrey Epstein. Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise went to the Biography Bookstore in the West Village and then to Magnolia. Joe DiMaggio’s brother Dom is not pleased the Yankee Clipper’s diaries are for sale. Stone Phillips is leaving Dateline, and he bought his longtime assistant an Audi as a parting gift. Matt Damon wants Al Gore to run for president. Ashlee Simpson helped beau Pete Wentz conquer his fear of flying so Wentz could get to the Hamptons via seaplane. Democratic Leadership Council Chairman Harold Ford Jr. hung out with Jay-Z, Nas, and Kid Rock in Southampton. Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany brought their 4-year-old to the Children’s Museum of Manhattan.
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Diddy DissedDiddy’s longtime girlfriend Kim Porter has finally moved out (and on). Henry Kissinger is bummed he isn’t portrayed in Frost/Nixon. Chris Tucker impersonates Bill Clinton, and the former president can’t get enough. At Bergdorf Goodman last week, Beyoncé was barefoot and Katherine Heigl was hot. André Balasz has taken over the Chelsea Hotel and is setting his sights on the Pacific. White House in Hampton Bays paid Diddy $200,000 to host his Independence Day Party there. Ashlee Simpson might be at the Blackbook party in the Hamptons tomorrow. Gwyneth Paltrow, who’s on crutches, blames running into furniture for her injury; Helen Hunt, also on crutches, won’t say why.
