Observers of this year’s American League Championship Series may have heard about a “curse” allegedly cast upon the Boston Red Sox when they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees in 1920. This year, though, it was the Bombers who seemed victimized by the fates, losing a three-game series lead and falling to the Sox in seven. Have the stars now aligned against the Yanks? We consulted Bay Area “baseball astrologer” Andrea Mallis—a Queens native who’s appeared on ESPN and says she has secretly consulted with several major-league teams—about what’s in store for key Yankees, potential Yankees-to-be, and the team. Note: Mallis warns that astrological baseball forecasting is hazardous because of the unreliability of Dominican Republic birth certificates.
George Steinbrenner
“I don’t see him tightening the belt. He’s having a positive Jupiter transit—Jupiter’s the planet of expansion. He may spend frivolously. I think Cashman might be on thin ice. Saturn is right on Cashman’s Mercury—this transit often means saying good-bye.”
Joe Torre
“He’s had some Saturn transits, [when] life feels like an endurance test. He has looked exhausted, and this cycle of low energy will be continuing. It says in one of my textbooks, ‘The person may experience problems with bosses, especially pushy, domineering types.’ ”
Derek Jeter
“His chart looked the best out of everybody’s. He’ll have more energy, physical health, and vitality. He has a Venus-Neptune connection—he’s always on the search for the ideal, searching for the perfect woman. He appreciates commanding types of women.”
Alex Rodriguez
“Next year looks extremely challenging. I’m seeing his stats quite a bit lower. He’s having a Saturn return, which happens when you’re 29 years old. It will be very ego-denying to not be doing as well. He’s going to feel more insecure and timid.”
Jason Giambi
“His astrology chart looks like an accident waiting to happen. I think that there’s a good chance his contract will be voided. The handwriting was just on the wall. I guess they’re going to make an example of him, which is very Capricorn. Like Nixon.”
Mariano Rivera
“Neptune, the planet of spirituality and/or confusion, is hitting his Mars all next season— Mars is the planet of energy, assertion, and aggression. Confidence decreases, the ego disintegrates. Which obviously is an awful trait for a closer.”
Pedro Martinez and Randy Johnson
“The answer for the Yankees is not going out to get Randy Johnson or overpaying for Pedro, who I think is not necessarily destined for greatness this year. Saturn is making a difficult aspect to Pedro’s sun the last two weeks of July and first two weeks of August. Depending on how hard he pushes himself when he’s in this low-energy ebb, it could affect the playoffs. He’s a high risk. Randy Johnson is having a difficult Mars aspect next year. He could end up on the disabled list in June and July. He has no knee cartilage! You don’t have to be an astrologer to know that.”
The Yankees
The Yanks played their first game on April 22, 1903, a “birth date” that makes the team a Taurus. “Their chart is going through a depressive and restrictive cycle all through next year. I don’t see them bouncing back, especially if those charts hold true for pivotal players. The loss to the Red Sox is going to hang over their heads energetically. I think they shifted energy. Energy is real—it was showing something when Clemens and Wells would rub the Babe’s plaque. Now the Yankees are like a machine. The Red Sox probably work with shamans and healers and smudge the clubhouse with sage.”