Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays, we lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.
COMPETITION NO. 49: “COMMENCEMENT SPEECHES.” Please suggest a (possibly not so effective) line from a graduation speaker of note. For example:
“I’m sorry this is starting so late—we were caught in traffic.”
—Bill de Blasio“In conclusion … [abruptly walks offstage]”
—David Chase“Aim high.”
—Wayne LaPierre“Don’t be caught up in the bright lights of fame. Personal fulfillment and growth are the key to happiness.”
—Kris Jenner
Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #commencementspeakers, or in the comments thread below, by June 10.
RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 48: “BROADWAY SEQUELS,” in which you were asked to invent a followup show.
HONORABLE MENTION TO:
2 CATS 2 FUR-IOUS
JDuggar
A Little More Night Music
—BENLINUS99
Twice
—Hey_Joe
Guys and Dolls and Gender and Identity
—mouthfullerton
Damn Mets
—rgqueen
XanaTwo
—ferryliketheboat
More Cats
—queasyrider
The King and II
—JDuggar
The Vagina Dialogues
—clippityclop
Doctor 2hivago
—MiddleCoastDan
Spamalotmore
—gianna13
1777
—OldYeller62
Hairier
—@peter_huntley
Kinkier Boots
—FlirtySanchez
West Side Gentrification
—matthew.wasco
Funeral of a Salesman
—benji
Oh! Mumbai!
—rmtmiller
Sunday in the Park With Jeb
—RustyShackelford
The Iceman Goeth
—j_son
Rent 2: Mortgage Boogaloo
—abbagirl
Urinetown (Number Two)
—kaboomm
Something Decomposed
—iuliana_d
Well, Here I Am at the Forum
—@monty_ashley
Annie Get Your Plan B
—riverhawk
Brigadoom
—BobKopac
Little Sheba Came Back, and We Gave Her Your Room
—HudsonRiver
The People of River City v. Harold Hill
—@MollyYall
Jesus Christ, Still a Star
—Lexxman
AND THE WINNER IS:
Grannie
—alanmarkgreenspan
