Bushwick: If you squint really hard, you can pretend this house is in a suburban glade and not next to the elevated subway in a tough hood. Or so this Realtor’s poster hopes. [Newyorkshitty]
Carroll Gardens: Locals rejoice at the news that his-buildings-don’t-fit-with-this-hood architect Robert Scarano is off the job at 333 Carroll Street, but what will become of that inappropriately huge penthouse thingy they’ve been building on the roof? [Pardon Me for Asking]
Corona: A husband-wife stripper team were busted for using MySpace to lure two teenage girls to their home, then to an orgy at a Manhattan strip club. Hey, why didn’t they ask us instead? God knows we’re of age. [NYDN via Queens Crap]
Gravesend: Adjacent to Coney, this hood has homies up in arms over possible plans for a waterfront waste-transfer station. Folks are afraid the dredging will yield a “black mayonnaise” (yum) of toxins, not to mention set off live ammo dumped there in the fifties. [NYP]
Lower East Side: Chippendale-like male strippers have arrived. “Bachelorettes, it’s time to knock back a few apple martinis, put on your tiara and bedazzled Bridezilla baby T, climb into your white Hummer limo, stand up through the sun roof, flash your tits, and get ready for some faux-hetero beefcake, ‘cause the skies over the Lower East Side are raining men!” [Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York]
Lower Manhattan: Santiago Calatrava’s planned WTC transit hub looks a bit like the beautifully rendered Jaws of Hell — perhaps that’s why the Port Authority is forcing revisions. Or not. [Curbed]
Red Hook: The big Ikea opening here in August is taking job applications, and you need a culinary degree to work in their food services. Fancy, fancy. Didn’t know making those Swedish meatballs was so skill-intensive. [OnNYTurf]
