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Ask Polly

  1. ask polly
    ‘I Can’t Stop Comparing Myself to More Successful Writers!’You need to stop seeing the world through the lens of your fears.
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    ‘I Always Steal My Friends’ Boyfriends, and I Can’t Stop!’You’re telling an inaccurate story about how you keep falling into emotional quicksand.
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    I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless and I’ve Wasted My Whole LifeWhen you live inside of your shame, everything you see is inadequate and embarrassing.
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    ‘How Do I Survive Staying With My Judgmental Family?’Give them your poker face and don’t say a word.
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    ‘He’s “Confused.” Should I Wait for Him?’Confused is a placeholder that could keep you in a state of limbo indefinitely.
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    ‘I’m Lazy, Reckless, and Addicted to Social Media. Help!’The way you’re processing the world is broken. If you don’t fix it, you’ll just keep creating new problems.
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    ‘I Am So Bad at Making New Friends!’Resist the urge to treat friendlessness as a personal failure.
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    ‘My Boyfriend of Three Years Just Ghosted Me!’Your ex-boyfriend strikes me as the kind of person who is acutely aware of his own feelings, but has very little knowledge of other people’s feelings.
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    ‘I’m Slow at Everything and It’s Ruining My Life’I think you have to work with what you’ve been given.
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    ‘I’m Obsessed With a Woman Who Doesn’t Want Me’You seem to want to get swept away in a fantasy without ever having to show up.
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    ‘Everything I Do Is Wrong’A lot of people — women in particular — feel unbelievably accountable to others.
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    ‘My Broke Boyfriend Wants Us to Live Together!’No no no no.
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    ‘My Ex-Best Friend Is Talking Trash About Me to Other People!’It’s understandable to want to know what others think of you, but at some point you have to recognize that you’re gathering information you can’t use.
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    Ask Polly: ‘My Parents Don’t Love Me!’You don’t deserve to get hurt, over and over again.
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    ‘How Can I Make Art When So Many People Expect So Much Greatness From Me?’It’s crucial to recognize that the work IS the end, not a means to an end.
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    ‘How Can I Believe in Anything, After So Many Shitty Things Have Happened?’When the stakes are high, trying to navigate your current, disappointing reality is the most terrifying thing of all.
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    Ask Polly: ‘All of My Friends Are Terrible But I Love Them. What Can I Do?’Your old ways of doing things won’t work anymore.
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    Ask Polly: ‘Should I Quit My Day Job to Write a Book?’It’s harder to finish creative work when you view it as a means to an end.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I Like Myself, But I Hate Being Single’I can tell that you believe in yourself. But do you believe in love?
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    ‘How Do I Start Over Now That I Know How Damaged I Am?’Start by grounding yourself in reality.
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    Ask Polly: ‘Should I Divorce My Extremely Frustrating Husband?’You both seem to like having someone to blame when things go wrong.
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    My Husband Dumped Me and Took My Business and I Don’t Know How to Move OnThe way you’re thinking about your pain and loss is making it harder for you to live.
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    Ask Polly: ‘Who Am I Without My Anger?’It takes a long time to learn how to feel your emotions without identifying criminals.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I Feel Empty’You have no connection to your success because you don’t know why you do what you do.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I’m a Single Mom and My Friends Walk All Over Me’You have to accept that other people have different priorities, values, and rules from yours.
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    Ask Polly: I’m Having a Hard Time Making Friends at My Fancy UniversityBlack-and-white thinking makes this situation worse.
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    Ask Polly: I Love My Friends, But I Hate Making Plans to See Them!You’re not just trying to escape the plans.
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    ‘Someone Is Saying Bad Things About Me and I’m Losing Sleep Over It!’Eventually, we become so exhausted by games of make believe that we not-so-secretly relish the idea of making a gigantic, ugly mess.
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    Ask Polly: ‘Why Do New Mothers Hate Their Husbands?’Asking for what you want does not make you ungrateful.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I’m Starting a New Life, But There’s Pressure to Get It Right!’Eventually, your old self is going to crawl back into view.
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    Ask Polly: ‘My Son’s Girlfriend Is Keeping Me From My Grandchildren!’You probably have your reasons for disliking your daughter-in-law. But she is your daughter-in-law now, even without the law involved.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I Can’t Stop Being Angry at My Boyfriend for Moving Away’The story you’re telling yourself is inaccurate, and it’s hurting you.
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    Ask Polly: ‘My Mother Has Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer and I’m Falling Apart’Ultimately, only you can decide how you want to navigate this sickness with her.
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    Ask Polly: ‘Should I Dump My Toxic Friend?’It’s crucial to learn how to tell people what you will and won’t do for them.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I Might Get a Big Job Offer, But I Don’t Want to Change My Life!’You have to tune in to your deepest feelings as you explore this possibility.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I Want to Find True Love, But I’m Afraid!’You need to understand your truest strengths.
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    Ask Polly: ‘My Boyfriend Isn’t Interested in Helping Me Out’You and your boyfriend are more alike than you might think.
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    Ask Polly: ‘Should I Leave My Amazing But Incredibly Frustrating Relationship?’You can’t fix this. Because no matter how “good” you are, he encounters you as a threat.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I Love My Boyfriend, But I Can’t Stop Cheating!’Romance cannot exist when one person is lying.
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    Ask Polly: ‘I Wish I Had Old Friends!’You don’t seem to be talking about actual holes in your life right now that need to be filled.
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    Ask Polly: ‘My Dad Doesn’t Appreciate Me Enough!’The “good” child, the fixer, is also someone who fixates.
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    Ask Polly: ‘My Friends Keep Bringing Up My Sordid Past in Mixed Company!’What good is trust and intimacy and a long history of friendship, if you can’t ask for exactly what you want?
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    How to Deal With Family ProblemsAsk Polly’s best advice.
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    All Your Friendship Questions, AnsweredThe best advice from Ask Polly.
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    Ask Polly: ‘How Do I Stop Myself From Sabotaging My Amazing New Relationship?’You can’t keep putting your best foot forward forever.
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    How to Have a Relationship With YourselfAccording to Ask Polly.
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    Writers, Here’s How to Deal With Self-DoubtHeather Havrilesky’s best Ask Polly advice about writing.
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    Should I Have a Baby, Maybe?Heather Havrilesky’s best Ask Polly advice about having children.
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    Ask Polly: ‘Should I Meet With My Mom?’At first glance, you sound like someone who is extremely confused about reality.
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    If You Hate Your Job, Read ThisHeather Havrilesky’s best Ask Polly advice on how to be happy with your career.
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