50 Things Amy Sedaris Can’t Live Without

I get these high-waisted Lollipop underpants in three-packs from old-lady bra shops on the Upper West Side.

I was obsessed with these Goody bows when I was little. Now I find them on eBay.

This wig was made for me at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts. It’s all real hair.

I’m best friends with Adam Selman, and he makes these tube socks, which I’m completely obsessed with. The quality is so nice and cushion-y and thin. Plus, the initials of his company is A.S.S., which is printed on the ankle of these. So I’ve been sending them to assholes lately.

I cannot live without pom-poms. I put them on everything: pillows, lamps.

I buy a ton of plain white matchbooks so I can decorate them myself. A must-have.

Creative Growth, an art studio in Oakland for adults with developmental disabilities, put together this coloring book of the artists’ drawings.

I sell lighters wrapped in Dum-Dums lollipop wrappers. After I finish, I take a picture, then throw them out.

If people come over, I always offer to laminate something of theirs. I say: “give me something from your wallet, let me laminate it for you.”

My friend Todd Oldham makes the best — and my most favorite — construction paper.

This is the best glue for if you’re decoupaging, and you don’t want it to gum up. I like to think of it as a little hidden secret.

This is one of my favorite books about decorating. I used it for inspiration when I was working on my TV show.

I like this because it’s large and has coconut in it. And because it rolls on.

I have 13 bottles of Comme des Garçons’ Avignon perfume, just in case they ever stop making it.

Gerlasan works well, but I buy this because the illustration makes me laugh. It’s a hand applying cream to another hand.

First Aid is one of the only companies making wooden swabs anymore, which is a shame.

Buly 1803 makes the most beautiful soaps. My brother David bought me the perfume version of this Tuberose one.

I use this herbal laxative to steam my pores; I’ve never found anything better. Some people use it in tea when they’re constipated.

I keep this enzyme spray in every room of my house: bathroom, living room, bedroom, plus two in my office. I just spray it on all the time, whenever I look at it.

My favorite body lotion is also from Epicuren, it’s called After Bath Moisturizer. I like the Kukui Coconut scent. I use it every day, often twice.

I’m obsessed with Epsom salts, obsessed with them. I take Epsom baths all the time.

The exact ones they used to use at the haunted Heathman Hotel.

My rabbit, Tina, constantly chews these linen bedspreads up. Which means I buy about four sets a year.

David hauls a huge drum of these on the plane from London for me. They’re made with olive oil, and they’re the best potato chips I’ve ever had in my life.

David also brings me back these Renova paper towels; he finds them at his local Tesco.

When I want to jazz up a meal, I’ll get out my Norpro hand-crank bean Frencher.

This is my new obsession, tea-wise. Tulsi. I particularly like the Sweet Rose flavor, it’s uncaffeinated.

I had a water-bug problem. They freak me out. I used this, and haven’t seen one since.

I have an abundance of L brackets, so I can put up shelves to hold all my stuff. Straight guys love L brackets. Every time a straight guy comes over he says, “I wish you had some L brackets, so I could help you put up some shelves.” And I say, “well I have an abundance of L brackets!”

My small box of small hats says small hats on it. I also have two boxes filled with googly eyes: one fancy, one not.

I bought the tiger rug in my bedroom at John Derian. It sits at the foot of my bed.

I get my beeswax candles from a church-supply site. Greek Orthodox churches have the most beautiful candles, so I figured a church supply website would be the place to go. I was right.

But I also love Cire Trudone’s Ernesto candle. I’m really serious about lighting candles for people when they come over. And this one burns really nicely.

I also have a large collection of doll wigs. This one looks like a mole.

Rebecca Morgan did a lot of pieces for my TV show, and she made this little ugly jug, which sits on my bookshelf.

I keep these fancy amber fragments in a seashell in my bathroom.

I got this really, really great incense in Japan, but you can also get it at 45RPM in New York. It’s my favorite.

World of Interiors is my favorite magazine, it’s the only one I get in the mail. I look at it, then I hand it off to my friend Paul Dinello.

I’m obsessed with empty boxes, it’s the one thing I want to change about myself but cannot. When we were doing Sex and the City, I used to ask Sarah Jessica for her boxes, because she had amazing ones from Manolo and Hermès. Santa Maria Novella boxes are really good. They’re the perfect size for, say, a dead mouse.

These are a big extravagance for Tina. I call them her french fries. She rarely gets them, because it’s too much sugar. She also occasionally eats a tiny raisin, and in the morning, she gets half a banana slice. She’s a lucky rabbit.

I order nine pounds of hay from a farm near Boston called Sweet Meadow.

House Rabbit Handbook is the only good book on rabbit care. I have several copies.

Il Bisonte wallets are my go-to gift for straight and gay guys.

I always give these mini-crutches to friends who are in plays so I can say, “You gave a crippling performance.”

It’s better than any other gin I’ve ever tried, and it comes in a nice small bottle with a little monkey on it.

If you put this Kryolan under your eye, you automatically cry. I gift it to teens, because it’s just a blast to use.

I used to make fake cakes. Now I usually buy them.

My kitchen is rife with fake meats: Cornish hens, rib roasts.

I bought this frosty fake beer in the restaurant district in Tokyo. I got four, but I really should have gotten more.