Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. The best of last week’s submissions, including the winner, appear below this week’s call for entries.
To recap: On Monday mornings, we’ll lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and on Sunday the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.
COMPETITION NO. 12: STAR WARS COMES TO NEW YORK. Please rewrite a line of dialogue (from any of the six films) reset to take place in our town. For example:
“Dante… I am your father.”
“When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not, unless Botox you have had.”
“I used to bullseye womp rats on the F train back home. They’re not much bigger than two meters.”
“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Especially if a rent-controlled lease you may inherit.”
“The Millennium Falcon? It’s the ship that made the run to JFK in less than twelve parsecs.”
Post your submission in the comments below, or on Twitter with the hashtag #starwarsnewyork.
RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 11: HISTORICAL REALITY TV, in which you were asked for the name of a premodern reality-television show.
HONORABLE MENTION TO:
Judge Judas
—WHYGODWHY
America’s Funniest Tintypes
— AHOLMES
Keeping Up with the Plantangenets
—Peter Duffy @duffy718
Say Yes To The Corset
— HENDOISM
Dancing With The Czars
— BATHROOMSEXDIARIST
Wild Fiefdom
— GABEGIRL
Survivor: Ireland
—MIKEXCITE
Million Doubloon Listing
—MC5
Here Comes Typhoid Mary!
—KRIS10B
So You Think You Can Forage
—Ali Schwartz @AliElizabethS
Gomorrah’s Next Top Sodomite
—YUMMOVISION
Ripley’s Believe It! Or Be Burned At The Stake
—BOBSCHECHTER
The Biggest Leper
—PAMPL
Here Comes Shaka Zulu
—Jeff Schwartz @Jeffurry312
Silk Road Truckers
—RAPTORESQ
Iron Chef Prussia
—77BC
Rome’s Next Top Vestal Virgin
—Alasdair Shaikh @ShaikhInTheCity
Inside the Raptor’s Studio
—Sarah Mogin @SarahMogin
New Deal or no New Deal
—NYCITYOFMIND
Judea Shore
—REGISMAYHEM
Peerage Wars
—Allison Braley @allisonbraley
Steerage Wars
—MOUTHFULLERTON
Who Wants To Marry an Ox Owner?
—BENJI
America’s Funniest Cave Drawings
—A.C. DeLashmutt @ACDeLashmutt
Pimp My Carriage
—EMiLY SHiNN @destruct_shinn
Egyptian Eye For the Greek Guy
—Alex B @alexembee
So You Think You Can Joust
—Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison16
AND THE WINNER IS…
Jon and Kate Plus 13, Minus 9
—NDESQ
