cultural capital Mar. 23, 2007

We Welcome You, Alien Overlords

Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record.

Government Opens U.F.O. Files

Minister Critical of ‘Blond’ Envoys,
A Hidden Populace in a Vacant Lot

Seeking Office Where Fiction and Fact Blur.
A Bittersweet Return

Stirring Up Cultural Storm.
Citizen of the World,

How to Come Close?
No Sex, Please! We’re French. —Lizzie Skurnick

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THE FEED

How to Make Sense of Trump’s Plan to Stop Making Cents

Here are answers to all your questions about the U.S. potentially going penniless.

early and often

early and often

Trump’s Attack on Military Diversity Is Doomed to Fail

Bigotry and backward thinking won’t keep America safe.

The Sneaky Ways Parents Transfer Money to Their Adult Children

By Katie Arnold-Ratliff

Low-interest loans, wads of cash, pieds-à-terre, and other strategies that stretch the gift tax limit.

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People With Parents With Money

As told to Paula Aceves and Julia Edelstein

14 adults come clean about the down payments, allowances, cash infusions, and tuition payments that make their New York lives feasible.

How Many Adult New Yorkers Are Secretly Subsidized by Their Parents?

By Madeline Leung Coleman

Parents are slowly transferring trillions of dollars to their New York City children, one down payment and Via Carota tab at a time.

The Super Bowl Was a Huge Party for Deranged Eagles Fans

As their team destroyed Kansas City on the field, Philly diehards were living it up at the Superdome.

The Donald Trump–Taylor Swift Drama: A Super Bowl Refresher

By Margaret Hartmann

Did Trump tweet that he “hates” Swift? What did Travis Kelce say? How are Patrick and Brittany Mahomes involved? Here’s a guide to all the bad blood.

tremendous content

tremendous content

Trump Keeps Giving Mahomes Weird and Desperate Compliments

By Margaret Hartmann

The president has found a strange outlet for his Taylor Swift–related insecurities.

What Federal Agencies Has DOGE Broken Into?

From the NOAA to OPM to the Pentagon, here’s an updated look at where Elon Musk’s DOGE is already operating and what they’re doing.

The Lessons From 2024 Democrats Really Need Right Now

Biden and Harris’s mistakes can help Democrats recover quickly now that Trump is the disappointing incumbent breaking promises.

How Kendrick Lamar Went From BLM Symbol to Super Bowl Star

By Zak Cheney-Rice

The enthusiastic response to his music has been driven in part by the perception that he’s a political vessel. But what exactly are his politics?

Trump and Musk’s Deadly Interference

By Sam Adler-Bell

They’ll profit from ripping the wires from the walls.

early and often

early and often

Trump May Not Want to Share Power With His Own Party’s Congress

Why rely on petty legislators when vastly increased presidential powers can get the job done?

tremendous content

tremendous content

Watch Trump Pretend He’s Not Obsessed With Time Magazine

By Margaret Hartmann

He quipped, “Is Time magazine still in business?” in response to the Elon Musk cover. Trump was named “Person of the Year” eight weeks ago.

All the Latest Unnerving Bird-Flu Developments

A new H5N1 strain has been spotted in cows and New York is temporarily closing live poultry markets, among other warning signs.

Is a Big Asteroid Going to Hit Earth in 2032?

Don’t set up those evacuation plans just yet.

the approval matrix

the approval matrix

The Approval Matrix: Planets Aligned, Everything Is Fine?

Our guide to what’s highbrow, lowbrow, brilliant, and despicable.

What Elon Musk and DOGE Are Doing to the Federal Government

By Chris Stanton

The billionaire and his cronies continue to move fast and break things. Here are their boldest attacks thus far.

early and often

early and often

Trump Cabinet Confirmation Hearings: Schedule & How to Watch

By Margaret Hartmann and Chas Danner

Will the Senate GOP confirm controversial picks like Tulsi Gabbard and RFK Jr.? Here’s the hearings schedule and list of who’s been confirmed.

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early and often

Russell Vought Is the Glue Between Elon Musk and Republicans

The newly confirmed co-author of Project 2025 is a quiet radical with enormous power, who can help keep DOGE and Congress in sync and in line.

The Super Bowl Is Desperately Trying to Keep Reality Away

New Orleans is the place to forget about politics and everything else. Yet the real world is intruding.

The ‘Make Me’ Presidency

Trump’s new approach is to act first and let them try to stop him with lawsuits later.

the city politic

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Is Mayor Andrew Cuomo Inevitable?

There are compelling arguments for a Cuomo victory — and several more for a flameout.

Good-bye, Pamela Paul

By Andrea Long Chu

The contrarian columnist showed us the intolerable side of liberalism.

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early and often

Trump Blesses His Kind of Christians at Prayer Breakfast

After squabbling with Catholics and liberal Protestants, Trump basked in the love of right-wing Evangelicals and boosted their causes.