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Chuck Schumer

  1. just ask chuck schumer
    Chuck Schumer Accurately Describes Experience of Owning a Cell Phone“A ticking time-bomb, ready to explode.”
    By Caroline Bankoff
  2. just ask chuck schumer
    Chuck Schumer Endorses Caffeine, Drinking Outside But not study drugs.
    By Delia Paunescu
  3. america!
    Statue of Liberty Still Bound by Security Squabbling Schumer and Kelly restart the feud.
    By Margaret Hartmann
  4. early and awkard
    Toomey Refused to Appear With SchumerSmart move?
    By Dan Amira
  5. airport security
    Chuck Schumer Wants to Keep Airplanes Completely Knife-FreeThe senator called on the TSA to reverse its new guidelines.
    By Caroline Bankoff
  6. gun control
    NRA Reveals Schumer’s Gun Registration PlanWeeks of scheming, undone with a slip of the tongue.
    By Margaret Hartmann
  7. he’s got jokes
    Chuck Schumer and Manhattan D.A. Vance Battle for Corny Pun SupremacyThe groaner Olympics begin here.
    By Kevin Roose
  8. Post Claims Schumer Wants Beyoncé ApologyThose two things usually have something to do with one another. 
    By Dan Amira
  9. hurricane sandy
    Schumer’s NYU Announcement Is Too Clever by HalfGood news, bad joke.
    By Adam Martin
  10. gun control
    Do Democrats Need to Like Gun Lovers?Before the party can pass gun control, Charles Schumer says, they’ll have to warm up to gun lovers like him.
    By Geoffrey Gray
  11. Chuck Schumer Not a Fan of Tax Deal“Little more than happy talk.”
    By Chris Smith
  12. kids today
    Schumer Shares Kids’ Desire to Eat Candy-Colored Detergent Pods“I don’t know why they make them look so delicious.”
    By Margaret Hartmann
  13. dirty old men
    Schumer Wants Resolution Pushing Vito Lopez to Quit“If the vote is 149–0, I think he’d have to step down.”
    By Brett Smiley
  14. happy memorial day
    Schumer Celebrates Memorial Day With Important Grill Brush WarningThe Senator is passionate about barbecue safety.
    By Margaret Hartmann
  15. just ask chuck schumer
    Chuck Schumer Defends Parents’ Rights to Sit by Their Kids on PlanesMany airlines are charging more for consecutive seats.
    By Andre Tartar
  16. billionaire boys club
    Eduardo Saverin Invites Ire for Tax ‘Scheme’Introducing the “Ex-PATRIOT” Act.
    By Joe Coscarelli
  17. the war on drugs
    Queens Councilman’s War on Synthetic PotThis scourge has landed over 50 people in New York ERs.
    By Andre Tartar
  18. marriage
    Chuck Schumer Rides His Bike Where He Wants to Ride His BikeIncluding on the PPW bike lane his wife hates.
    By Noreen Malone
  19. Chuck Schumer Is a Big Fan of ‘L.L. Kool Herc’Bet you didn’t realize Schumer was so into hip-hop!
    By Dan Amira
  20. chuck schumer
    Schumer: New Painkillers Will Increase CrimeThe senator says stronger drugs will lead to more pharmacy holdups.
    By Azriel James Relph
  21. senate fight!
    Chuck Schumer Plays the 9/11 Card Hard In Argument With John McCainHe was only trying to defend the good name of Long Island.
    By Dan Amira
  22. revolt like an egyptian
    America Has Decided on Its Reward for Helping to Topple Qaddafi: The Lockerbie MastermindSenators, presidential candidates, and political observers want him back in prison, ASAP.
    By Dan Amira
  23. cell phones
    Chuck Schumer on the Side of Phone LosersEspecially if they don’t have Verizon.
    By Caroline Bankoff
  24. terrorble
    Chuck Schumer Suggests Not Letting Terrorists Blow Up TrainsInteresting.
    By Dan Amira
  25. early and awkward
    Chuck Schumer Caught Programming His Fellow Senate Robots“I always use the word extreme,” Mr. Schumer said. “That is what the caucus instructed me to use this week.”
    By Dan Amira
  26. whose road is it anyway?
    Chuck Schumer Mysteriously Quiet About Bike Lane His Wife HatesHe’s refusing to comment on the Prospect Park West bike lane.
    By Dan Amira
  27. r. kelly
    Chuck Schumer Wants Ray Kelly to Take Over the FBICome September, the top spot at the FBI will be vacant.
    By Mike Vilensky
  28. early and awkward
    In Which Senator Chuck Schumer Gets Snubbed by SnookiThis has to be a low point in his career.
    By Dan Amira
  29. Peace and Civility to Reign Throughout the LandStarting with minimally downgraded political attack language.
    By Adam Pasick
  30. health carnage
    A Single Republican Congressman Has Decided to Forgo Government Health InsuranceEveryone else is a socialist.
    By Dan Amira
  31. never forget
    Deal Reached on 9/11 Health-Care Bill [Update: It Passed]Tom Coburn gets some concession in exchange for not killing the bill.
    By Dan Amira
  32. never forget
    A Handful of Republicans Have Finally Been Convinced to Help Sick Ground Zero WorkersWhy was that so hard to begin with?
    By Dan Amira
  33. election hangover
    Matt Damon Will Not Humiliate Himself for New York’s Amusement After AllHe was going to wear a Yankees hat if New Yorkers voted for the Working Families Party.
    By Dan Amira
  34. blackout in a can
    National Four Loko Prohibition Set to Begin at Any MomentThe FDA will ban it across the country, Chuck Schumer says.
    By Dan Amira
  35. drinking
    New Yorkers Have Approximately One More Month to Get Drunk on Four LokoAfter that, we’re Loko-less.
    By Mike Vilensky
  36. election hangover
    Chuck Schumer Will Let Harry Reid Keep His Terrible JobHe will indefinitely defer his dream of becoming majority leader.
    By Dan Amira
  37. early and often
    Republicans Have a Mixed Night in New YorkThey were shut out in statewide races, and it’s unclear what will happen with the State Senate, but they did manage to flip five Democratically held congressional seats.
    By Dan Amira
  38. early and often
    Andrew Cuomo, Kirsten Gillibrand, and Chuck Schumer Cruise to VictoryShocking, no?
    By Dan Amira
  39. early and often
    Jay Townsend Tries to Paladino-ize Chuck SchumerRemember that time Schumer called a flight attendant a bad name behind her back?
    By Dan Amira
  40. crossing over
    Congress Passes $600 Million Border-Security BillSchumer: “It will clear the path for restarting bipartisan discussions.”
    By Nitasha Tiku
  41. crossing over
    Schumer-Backed Bill Will Send 1,500 New Agents to BorderSenate passes $600 million measure.
    By Josh Duboff
  42. reefer madness
    Which New York Politicians Have Smoked Pot, and How Embarrassed Are They About It?Some pretend they didn’t enjoy it, some lie, and some flat out brag about it.
    By Dan Amira
  43. gossipmonger
    Cameron Diaz Would Like to Remind You That If She Has Sex With a Woman, That Doesn’t Make Her a LesbianIt just makes her an aging starlet trying to stay relevant, okay?
  44. flotilla fallout
    Schumer Believes Gaza Flotilla May Be Connected to Al Qaeda’The American people and the world deserve the full story.’
    By Josh Duboff
  45. terrorble
    Homeland Security Funding for New York City Actually Going UpThe White House tries to get New York pols to calm down.
    By Dan Amira
  46. security
    White House to Cut Anti-Terror Funding for NYCSchumer: “[It] shows they just don’t get it and are not doing right by New York City.”
    By Josh Duboff
  47. crossing over
    Chuck Schumer Is Writing Funny Letters to PeopleHe asks Arizona’s governor to try to delay the state’s immigration law for a year.
    By Dan Amira
  48. crossing over
    So, What’s Happening With Immigration Reform?It’s either definitely happening this year, definitely not happening this year, or maybe happening this year.
    By Dan Amira
  49. facebook
    Schumer Pressures Facebook to Change Privacy SettingsIf there was a “dislike” button, Schumer would be all over it.
    By Josh Duboff
  50. early and often
    Guy Volunteers to Be Slaughtered by Chuck SchumerJay Townsend will announce his failed senatorial bid this Saturday.
    By Dan Amira
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